finally!!!!!
finally i can blog liao...or else im oso there to try to blog but inothing was post up....for this few days i started to get to know my fren name--->christine better as in i understand her better..well this few days reali enjoy n reali didnt think of both the 'him' sooooo much...
for christine to read...
hey girl..if u happen to read this blog..tats gd i can make use of this blog liao...as u noe la...some thing r hard to say out wan...remember that time u ever ask me abt whether am i angry wif u??? well..since frm this week(13/9/04 to...) i realise that u r reali a great fren to be wif...so in my point of view..i think frenz should be frank to each other n NO LIES...rite???...remember once u ever ask me abt whether am i angry wif u???..i think i did have some misunderstanding....but on thursday u reali change my views towards u...--->a great hugz to u<---hey reali gt abit touched~..becos u don wan me to miss my tutorial then u accompany me bck hm n bck to sch again...n on the way reali have fun..jokes..laughters..bla~ bla~ bla~wat 'shi san feng yu lu' n ur favourite phrase(hokkien) 'hello~kin meh kiam eng bo' wahahaha..fun lo...n remember wat we did n tok abt when we were in formal wear...hahaha
don't know wat am i doing????
frenz of mine will definitely said 'aiyo..y u msg him again'...for me i juz wan to know is he doing fine all that....but always having the mix feeling..actually i have been bothering wif this feeling very long ago...i always wonder am i really in love wif 'monkey face' or becos all the long i have been waiting for him...so i may think that i really cant leave him...or becos it has become a habit of mentioning him when i ask myself...but the feeling has already fade away since the day he left me??? or i really like him alot lot....??? at times i reali miss him sooo much n wish to see him everyday...but wat i can do is onli looking at his pic in my rm...i ever try out by keeping all his stuff away frm my sight but i had failed...i took everything out again...i think he is my 1st thats y..but i can say he n me reali went through alot..there are ups n downs...im such a 'suay bong' as wat my jie said..whenever important exams are ard the corner, i sure kanna things wan...the most touching incident was 1 day before my n-level exam..remember it was english paper...he promised me tt he will accompany me when i revise my studies but only a few minutes ago he said this n he even brought VCD along..but a few minutes later..he was caught..n was locked up...during this period when he was locked up...i was soo miserable...i couldnt believe that it was just a few minutes...all this things keep repeating in my mind like radio...throughout this exam period beside studying n revising...crying has also becoming part of my daily routines..i cant help myself neither my frenz n family...every hours cry except for sleeping..(3-5 hours)surprise!! he called me n i wanted to tok to him ..but i knew he cant tok too long so i told him to call his family...i waited n waited for this day my 2nd last paper-geography(the day to bail him out)..i went to court n i knew my tears was going to flow out when the hearding was he cant be bailed i tried very hard to control as i dont want him to worry..coldness swept across me...finally tears rushing out when i was preparing to go sch at his home...2 weeks later he was bailed out n i told him everything i did n he was touched..i saw him cried for the 2nd time...
for him i reali did alot of things as well as putting MORE than 100%...but now i can only hope for his return....
serve me right!!!
at times i think of kovin again...y??? nothing could explain this...he is someone who can enter in my life when i think im reali hopeless..n...cheap...dirty...and all the stupid things...n its the 1st time that i had the feeling of being love by someone when i didnt in as much as he does...when im 'pek chek' he was the one 'tio suay'..kanna my bombs..when i hapi..he is nt the 1st i share wif..n when i wan to leave him he did all the things tt maybe girls will be touched..he gt his bike n wanted me to be his 1st pillion but i rejected n nv think of his feeling n he gt me when i did my project in AMK, i don know hw he gt me...n i can buy my favourite beancurd at geylang n knowing that i haven take my dinner, buy nasi-lemak at changi n all the way to jurong for me....but i can said IM NOT!!! maybe im cold-blooded that time..
i had a confusion wif both the 'him' by the time i knew it..its was too late..cos i hurt him tooooo much but i had nv thought of patching wif him but juz miss the days we tok on phone n the things we share..when we were just frenz...the days were the most beautiful ones...maybe i didnt explain or tell him the reasons y i choose to leave him clearly but at that time i reali think it was unnecessary...thats y till nw he wont forgive me...but he was kind enough to accept me in friendster...maybe ppl will not be contented..so i will hpoe tt we could get back to those days...times to stop or tonight cant sleep again....
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